Look at this example of student writing, which has problems with wordiness.
Every single time I had to do a writing assignment, I was always really unhappy and miserable. Due to my complete lack of confidence as well as my total inability to express ideas of mine on paper, I believed that I had to work almost twice as hard as any other student in this world.
This included spending hours and hours looking at a blank page and spending more hours editing essays of mine, just to make sure I had really appropriate content, organization, and grammar. Since English was not my first language, I was concerned that I would not do so very well at the university. When I entered the class offered by College Writing, everything changed in a positive way due to the fact that my writing skills increased throughout the semester.
In the beginning of the semester, I had a lot of trouble with my first couple of essays; however, with careful analysis, patience, and my will to succeed, I started to write essays that I was quite proud of. I learned that if I could relate any topic of any essay with my personal experience, I believed that these essays were truly good, and would submit it to my instructor.
What Causes Wordiness?
Another problem in writing is wordiness. Wordiness happens when you use more words than you need to in order to write what you mean. Everyone has a tendency to be too wordy at times. Some of the causes of this wordiness are:
- Trying to sound too formal or academic. Unfortunately, in academic and business writing, there are a lot of examples of wordy writing. This doesn’t mean you have to model your writing on bad examples. Your readers will always appreciate if you state your ideas clearly, using no more words than necessary.
- Not knowing more precise vocabulary. For example, saying, She ran quickly to the store can be made less wordy, and more precise, by saying: She raced to the store (race=run quickly). Finding the right vocabulary can help you cut down the number of words you use. Every reduction helps, even if it’s only a word or two.
- Using too many unnecessary and vague modifiers. Modifiers like really, very, quite, and similar words add no meaning to your writing. If you need to modify a word, find precise modifiers. For example, instead of “There’s a really tall building near my house,” write: “There’s a 50-story building near my house.”
- Using too many prepositional phrases or possessives. These types of phrases can add length to your sentences, often unnecessarily. So, instead of The car belonging to Mr Wang is in the garage [10 words], write: Mr Wang’s car is in the garage [7 words].
Look over anything you have written recently, and see if you can find ways to reduce wordiness.
Reduced Version (Paraphrasing)
I was always miserable every single time I had to do a writing assignment. Due to my lack of confidence and my inability to express my ideas on paper, I believed that I had to work much harder than any other student in the world. This included countless hours of staring at a blank page and editing the essays just to make sure everything was perfect. I was concerned that I wouldn’t do very well at the university since English was not my first language but when I entered the class offered by College Writing, my skills increased over time and everything changed for the better.I had a lot of trouble with my first couple of essays at the beginning of the semester. However, by being careful, patient, and constantly motivated, I started to write essays that I was quite proud of. I learned that if I could relate any essay topic to my personal experience, I would submit it to my instructor once I believed that the essay was truly good
Shamsi
Whenever I had to do a writing assignment, I was depressed and miserable. Due to my lack of confidence and inability to express my ideas on paper, I had to work almost twice as hard as any other student. I spent hours writing and editing essays to ensure I had appropriate content, organization, and grammar. Since English was not my first language, I was concerned that I would not do well at university. However, when I entered a College Writing course, everything changed positively because my writing skills improved. At the beginning of the semester, I had lots of trouble with my first couple of essays; however, I began writing things that made me proud after some time. I learned that if I could relate any essay topic to my personal experience, and would turn in outstanding essays
Karinap
Every time I had to do a writing assignment I was unhappy. Due to my lack of confidence and inability to express ideas, I had to work harder than other students. I spent hours looking at a blank page and editing my essays to make sure I had appropriate content, organization, and grammar. Since English was not my first language, I was concerned that I would not do well at the university. When I entered the class offered by College Writing, everything changed in a positive way because my writing skills increased. In the beginning of the semester, I had trouble with my first essays; however, with careful analysis, patience, and my will to succeed, I started to write essays that I was quite proud of. I learned that if I could relate any topic of any essay with my experience, these essays were good to submit it to my instructor.
Fanfanz
Every time I had to do a writing assignment, I was always unhappy. My lack of confidence and inability to express ideas on paper made me believe that I had to work twice as hard as any other student. That meant spending hours looking at a blank page or editing essays, just to ensure I had appropriate content, organization, and grammar. Since English was not my first language, I was concerned I would not do well at university. After I entered the College Writing class, things began to change. At the beginning of the semester, I had trouble. However, with careful analysis, patience, and sheer will, I became proud of my writing. I realized I could relate any topic to my personal experience. I believed those later essays were good enough to submit to instructors.
Jona Lynn
Each time I do a writing assignment, I’m always unhappy. Due to a lack of confidence as I express my idea on paper, I know that I has twice as hard as a student. This included spending hours looking at a blank page and editing essays, just to make sure I include the appropriate content. Since English isn’t my first language, I doubt that I wont do good at the university. When I entered the class offered by College Writing, everything changed the way my writing skills increased through the semester.At the start of the semester, I had a lot of problems with my first few essays; but, with careful analysis, patience, and my will to succeed, I began to write essays that I was proud of. I learned that I could do any topic of the essay with my personal experience, I know that these essays were truly good, and would submit them to my instructor.
Eradine
Writing assignments always make me upset. I think I have to work harder because of my lack of confidence. Because I had previously spent so much time editing my my own writing I thought University would be very difficult. Instead I found that college class increased my writing skills. I eventually wrote essays I was proud of and confidently submitted essays to the instructor on any given topic.
Hess
Whenever I had to write assignment, I was unhappy and miserable. Due to my lack of confidence and inability to express my ideas on paper, I had to work almost twice harder than other students. This included spending five hours looking at a blank page and spending more hours editing my essays, to make sure I had appropriate content, organization, and grammar. Since English was not my first language, I was concerned that I would not do well at the university. When I entered College Writing class, everything changed positively because my writing skills increased throughout the semester. In the beginning of the semester, I had lots of trouble with my first two essays; however, with careful analysis, patience, and enthusiasm, I started to write essays I was proud of. I learned that if I relate an essay topic with my personal experience, these essays are good, and I would submit it to my instructor.
Omeje
Every time I had to do a writing assignment, I was always unhappy and miserable. Due to my lack of confidence and inability to express ideas on paper, I believed that I had to work almost twice as hard as any other student. This included spending hours looking at a blank page and spending more editing my essays just to make sure I had appropriate content, organization, and grammar. Since English was not my first language, I was concerned that I would do poorly at the university. When I joined the class offered by College Writing, everything changed positively because my writing skills increased throughout the semester. In the beginning, I had numerous troubles with my first essays; however, with careful analysis, patience, and my will to succeed, I started to write essays that I was quite proud of. I learned that if I could relate topics with my personal experience, believed that my essays were truly good, I could submit it to my instructor.
Chihicat
The burden of assignment made me feel miserable every time. My inability and incompetency in writing made me realize that I need to work hard to achieve efficiency in writing so that I can express my idea more precisely and clearly. To start writing and organizing the ideas It needs plenty of time further it needs more hours for the final draft. Since, English is not my first language, I realised I will take time to level up and to get proficiency at graduate level. However, when I joined the writing class I got to learn many things in writing skills. It made my job easy in writing and I feel I am good at it.
S.A.
At the beginning of the semester I had to put my effort to write a good essay. Being a persistent and motivated learners I got success . Now, I feel good enough to write a better essay. I learned one important thing from my instructor while doing this course that is associating and visualising the given topic with personal experience.